one year

Happy one year no contact anniversary

Narcisus by Alanis Morrisette

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70-ysSgI_Es

Dear momma's boy I know you've had your butt licked by your mother
I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her
And every woman graced with your presence after
Dear narcissus boy I know you've never really apologized for anything
I know you've never really taken responsibility
I know you've never really listened to a woman

Dear me-show boy I know you're not really into conflict resolution
Or seeing both sides of every equation
Or having an uninterrupted conversation

And any talk of healthiness
And any talk of connectedness
And any talk of resolving this
Leaves you running for the door 

Why why do I try to love you
Try to love you when you really don't want me to
Why why do I try to love you
Try to love you when you really don't want me to 

Dear egotist boy you've never really had to suffer any consequence
You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes
You'd never understand anyone showing resistance
Dear popular boy I know you're used to getting everything so easily
A stranger to the concept of reciprocity
People honor boys like you in this society

And any talk of selflessness
And any talk of working at this
And any talk of being of service
Leaves you running for the door 

Why why do I try to help you try to help you
When you really don't want me to
Why why do I try to help you try to help you
When you really don't want me to

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to ignoring all the rest of us
You go back to the center of your universe

Dear self centered boy I don't know why I still feel affected by you
I've never lasted very long with someone like you
I never did although I have to admit I wanted to
Dear magnetic boy you've never been with anyone who doesn't take your shit
You've never been with anyone who's dared to call you on it
I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it

And any talk of willingness
And any talk of both feet in
And any talk of commitment
Leaves you running for the door 

Why why do I try to change you try to
Try to change you when you really don't want me to
Why why do I try to change you try to
Try to change you when you really don't want me to

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to being so oblivious
You go back to the center of the universe

:/

Forgiveness

"I have asked you, "who will cast the first stone?" 
When you are about to point the finger of accusation against one of your brothers or sisters who has acted in an abusive way toward you or another who is dear 
to you, ask "how can I judge?" How can I know the painful and unloved place from which this act has arisen? How can I know except through the depths of my 
own pain and separation?" And if you will dwell there, instead of from some false place of moral superiority, you will feel compassion for the ones in pain, 
for both the abused and the abuser. 

Whatever abuse you have experienced in your life must ultimately be forgiven. 
When it is forgiven, you no longer hold onto the violation. You release the shame. First you forgive yourself. Then you forgive your abuser. 
Do not try to do it the other way around. You cannot extend forgiveness to another until you have claimed it for yourself." 

               Paul Ferrini, in "The Silence of the Heart"